Episode 13

Got Common Sense?

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If it walks, quacks and looks like a duck, it’s a duck. How often have you thrown common sense out the window because you really wanted to believe the duck is a swan? That's usually when the trouble starts and when people are left disappointed and sometimes devastated. Have any good stories? Any you want to share?

Your stories

  1. What's Most Important ...

    by Harry
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  1. Looks may deceive..

    by Victoria I had always been what people called a typical "good girl". I always did my homework, got good grades, didn't drink, smoke and was close to my parents. I held clear of boys because I was aware that there would be sneaky boys out there, I waited for the one. A couple of years ago I met what now is my ex. He was also a brainiac, got all A's in math and really seemed like a good guy. We became a couple after a week. He seemed so wonderful to me even though I was warned by his brother(who is a drug addict) that he was a player. I was skeptical but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He really could talk his way out everything. He made me fall, and I fell hard. And then I was caught. He had me. He had total control of me. The strong girl became weak and helpless. He told me I was useless. I was helpless. I believed it. He used me, lied about everything, cheated and dumped me in the worst way. I should have trusted my instincts and not my stubborn fantasy about him being the first and only love..
  2. What's Most Important ...

    by Harry When I was much younger I would fly off the handle when I felt any perceived injustice. I began to watch your show in the early 2000's. I was attending a legal assistant program from which I graduated and am now bar certified. The other day I had an altercation with a neighbor which I have had a friendly relationship up to that point. She would allow me to park into her space while out of town. One evening I received a terse text asking me to move my car from her driveway. It was my fault as I had forgotten she was returning. As I apologized she lit into me with a very nasty diatribe. I apologized again and walked away and went inside. Once I locked my door I thought of an incident where I lost my temper and vandalized someone's' car for a dispute. I thought to myself about advice I have heard you give many times: Judge Judy states a slight does not give you permission to commit a vindictive crime: Take the high road and walk away. I did. Thank you, Judge Judy.
  3. Wanting a relationship too much

    by Susan I was seventeen and in love with the idea of being in love. "Chad" was a few years older and knew how to take advantage of my adolescent vulnerability. Chad was available, and I was so in love with love that I ignored the clear evidence that Chad was using me in a plan to get money from my parents. His idea was that he'd marry me, give me pills to make sure I was always emotionally shaky and completely dependent on him, and then tell my parents that I needed him all the time at home. This was supposed to inspire my parents to give him everything he wanted. Chad boasted about his plans at work; some of his coworkers knew my family and passed the word on to me. In spite of being seventeen and loving the idea of being in love, I had enough sense to recognize the truth when it was presented baldly by someone who had no reason to interfere other than caring. I escaped a terrible future because of people who cared. For this I am forever grateful.
  4. Love with Sense!

    by Yvonne I've always been the family, friend, mother, wife and so on that always wore my heart on my sleeve. I would always give and loan until the pot was empty! Over my 50 years of living and through trials and tribulations, I've lost my heart and soul to my loved ones and even strangers. I have many stories that would help anyone. I worked in law enforcement and still was always used and abused! My last mistake was co-signing for a car for a relative from a car rental agency, in which the relative later allowed someone to drive it and they had an accident! Because of my years of watching Judge Judy and her comments on getting things in writing! I was saved, because the car rental place wanted to hold me accountable, but my relative ended up have to pay the cost because I have her sign a waiver with me that place the liability back on her, so when her case settled, the cost of the car was paid out of her award! This was a sign to always get it on paper when loaning or doing anything!
  5. Internet Woes

    by Matty I use to have a difficult time socializing in public, and social networking sites were easy for me to communicate. I met 2 people on the internet, and kept in contact with them for a while. Both of them unfortunately pretended to be my friend, and cut me off without warning, or any notification. I actually went to one of my "Online Friends" US State, and she did not even visit with me once. The other one simply blocked me from her YouTube, and Facebook pages with no indication that she didn't want to be my friend, because both of them were nice to me through emails, and chat conversations, but Witches, and Manipulators behind my back. Nowadays, I'm more cautious online, and I've joined a Gym, and I've developed better public social skills, and I'm considered a 'Role Model' at my Gym, for my dedication, and inspiration.
  6. What You See is What You Get

    by Catherine Relationships and our need to have them is why we forgive the obvious. It starts in grade school when we make friends with people that perhaps aren’t the best, but hey, at least we have a friend. In high school, we ignore the obvious and excuse bad behaviors, because it means we have a date that weekend and someone to talk about with our friends. In our twenties we're looking for mates, but we’ve become accustom to excusing behaviors and this is when we lie and say, “He’ll change” or the other biggie, “I can fix that.” My mother used to say, ‘what you see is what you get,’ but as most do, I ignored her. After I ended my second engagement, I finally got it. Instead of chasing the dream and excusing behaviors, I focused on my career and planned for retirement as a single. I was happy to be off of the dating roller coaster. I developed relationships with people of integrity and through happenstance, met the swan. Surprisingly there was no pretense, no crap and no excuses!
  7. Being a responsible divorced dad...

    by Norm Today is my 54th birthday. Birthdays always make me pause and reflect on my life. I'm satisfied with the manner in which I've led my life. I'm a divorced dad with one 17 year-old child, whom I've dedicated my life to. I felt that, when my wife decided to leave, I would parent from a vantage point of coming from a deficit, since my daughter would never know what an intact family experience was like. I made a pact with myself that I would provide the most remarkable life for my child, that I could. Now I'm reaping the benefits. My child has had straight "A"s her whole life, has belted numerous times in two martial arts, is a certified scuba diver, and has visited over twenty countries. She has no psychological hang-ups, concerning her two-household upbringing. We're getting college apps out to such prestigious universities as Stanford, and the Claremont Colleges. Divorced parents - put the time in with your children when they're young, or you'll pay the shrink when they're older!
  8. Men don't have webbed feet but...

    by L.A. Ahhh Judge Judy - you are sooo right (as usual). Call it poor judgement (pun intended) or just dumb. As an educated woman, I can't figure out why I continue to believe that a duck will someday become a swan. No matter what I do, no amount of love, patience, support or tears is going to change that. When I think of all the time, money and heart I have wasted on ducks, it makes me so angry and sad. Ducks are cute and often fun to be around but at the end of the day, are no substitute for a swan. I can't help but wonder whether I would have made better choices if I had a mom like you. Can't change that duck either! So all i can do now is try to not make the same mistakes again. Thanks for your wit and wisdom. I think this site is great and I look forward to reading/watching.
  9. Playing by the rules

    by Sue I played by the rules, didn't overextend my credit, paid off my house, threw most my spare change into retirement accounts. After 14 years at the same job, I was laid off. Since I did not spend all my money to indulge my every fancy, I will have to take money from my accounts if I don't find work soon because the government has declared I must pay the exorbitent rates insurance companies want to charge. If I had blown all my money, I would be eligible for assistance. Doesn't it make more sense to be irresponsible, to have taken out an excessive home loan and not paid it back (since of course I have no income), filed bankruptcy and received aid, rather than having my savings depleted by government mandate? Where is the reward for responsibility? I am not asking for a handout, but I want to preserve what I have as long as I can. I feel like I'm the fool.
  10. Do Your Homework

    by Melissa In the mid-1970s, Wanda, an import from a southern state and acquaintance of my mother, confided that, although contemptuous of the man she was living with, she would stay and provide services until a sufficient number of years accrued to achieve a common law marriage and, thus, obtain marital property rights. However, Wanda failed to research and, thus, was unaware, that in California, there is no common law marriage.
  11. Got Common Sense? No!

    by M. People who are impossible can be avoided but not if you live with them. This is my story. My impossible person wasn't some friend, boyfriend or a sibling. No, it is my parents. Sad thing I couldn't divorce them. Their excuses baffle common sense. Just today, dad didn't talk to my school teacher about some issue at school, because he 'didn't know what to say'. Well he simply could have just asked me again. I would have been more than happy to repeat what I had been telling them the past whole week, 'Can it be arranged to give my A levels as composite?' He could have just asked me, and the problem solved, but I guess it takes a genius to figure that out.
  12. Family over money

    by Mm If you are "loaning" money to immediate family, always be sure you can afford the loan. My sister and I did that for a car loan for another sister. The car was one we both could afford and never brought the subject up again as we paid for it knowingly. Just go into the deal with the attitude that it is a gift.
  13. I'm ashamed to admit....

    by Tracy My story is not a legal matter that I lost money on or could collect on, but a matter of the heart. I fell in love with an abusive man and am ashamed to admit that I stayed in that relationship for 8 years. I still to this day, 20 years later, don't understand why I stayed and tolerated that treatment. After every episode of abuse, I was told with such sorrow and vey convincingly that it would never happen again. I suppose at first I hopelessly wanted to believe it, but after hearing it so many times, those words meant nothing. I knew better. So to anyone that is in an abusive relationship, if you aren't already past the point of knowing better, take it from someone who has been there, one time is too many, it doesn't get better and "it will never happen again" with tears and all will get finally get old and you will finally realize, hopefully before it's too late that this relationship could be the death of you and if it "quacks like a duck, it's a duck" and those words are too good to be true.
  14. A Duck By Another Name Is Still A Duck

    by J. Joanne and I were friends for about two years. Both her husband and mine enjoyed outdoor sports together. We were there for each other through thick and thin. Each of our mates had had health problems. We leaned on each other. Well, as time passed, it appeared that she would often exaggerate things. For example, she would comment that her husband only received $35,000 a year for retirement. With the next breath, she would tell me about several chairs she purchased for over $700 apiece. Combined, that would make up one tenth of their income. It didn't make sense. When I told her that, she became very defensive. The untruths continued. With each "lie," she got more angry when I questioned her about it. I refused to believe that she was a liar. I made excuses. I wanted to believe her stories. She accused me of treating her badly and dropped me like a hot potato. I learned the hard way. A liar is a liar. "A duck by another name is still a duck!"
  15. Taking relatives to court...makies no sense!

    by Cheryl I am British but now live in Spain and watch your show all the time. The one thing I can never understand is taking your relatives especially your children to court. If I took my two boys, who are now 31 and 29, everytime they "borrowed" money from me and not paid me back I would probably be a millionaire by now.
  16. ASK BEFORE GIVING

    by Marie I always give to street people, until one day talking to the only one we have here in our small town, how he was doing and if he was making much $. 60$ a day he told me! Then takes out a package of cigarettes that cost 12$ minimum. He was making more than me! So, I put my 2$ back in my pocket..thinking I should quit my job and go hang at Walmarts. :) tax-free $$! Another day, I go to my favorite restaurant and there he is, eating a meal. I watched him and he even tipped! Well, at least he has manners :). So now I ask before giving to street people, of course, without them knowing am checking them out if they are for real and if they smoke ready made cigarettes..I don`t stop..I move on.
  17. Believing your own eyes

    by Wendie I worked in a facility with teen girls. One girl was smoking pot in the parking lot as I watched. When confronted she denied it and said "Are you going to believe what you saw with your own eyes or what I just told you?" Hmmm, I chose to believe what I saw. Common sense does not run rampant in the young.
  18. Sneaky Ducks

    by Gracie My neighbor called to tell me the front window screen had flown off. I thought this was strange since it had never happened before. So i called to have my daughter put it on the front porch until i got home from work. I could hear it in her voice that something just wasn't right when I asked her about it. Then my neighbor and I started thinking I bet my daughter snuck out the night before. So we questioned my other daughter and sure enough she fessed up and told on her sister. She was the one who snuck out the window and took the screen off!! Not so clever child ...
  19. Bad Duck

    by Betsy When I was 16, I went down to a nearby park for some peace & quiet between work shifts. There was a man there taking pictures of the river and he asked if he could take some pictures of me. I'm glad I didn't trust him, he just didn't seem "right" in what he was saying. 30+ years later I found out he was a serial killer that they finally caught and he had killed some of the women he took pictures of at that park. You have to trust the voice inside you when the duck sounds like a quack!
  20. Fake sport ticket

    by Justin I was going to a baseball game with a group of people. Some had tickets and some did not. I did. One person with us said, "hey anyone who needs a ticket, buy them from this man on the corner; he is selling them for $5." I said do not buy from that guy; the price is too cheap, buy them from the box office. Most listened but three did not, and then could not in because the tickets were fake.
  21. Stories that don't make sense!!

    by D. I have been married for over 30 years now and due to my husband's stories (lies) I can't talk to him. His excuse is I'm so smart I can't understand him (huh?). I can't talk to him more than a few minutes before there is a disagreement. The truth is the stories he tells just doesn't make sense so I gave up years ago asking anything pertaining to where hes been or what happened to his paycheck or pretty much anything. He doesn't seem to have much common sense or he could figure out what he's about to tell me isn't true and he should start over with the truth, but he doesn't and will keep his "stories" going, getting louder and louder so I just have no comments. I love seeing you confront your lying defendants and I don't think there has been any time that I didn't agree with you. I really wish you could get a hold of my husband what fun that would be!! LOL
  22. Got Common Sense?

    by Lee This makes a lot of common sense to me: "The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before." Albert Einstein. I believe he would use that statement today to advise women to stay OFF generic, mass blogs and to only go onto Judge Judy's blogs to get smart through "Osmosis." Common sense and funny, both. :-)

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