Episode 34

Should Parents Be Fined for Children's Bullying?

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It's always been my experience that if you can't get people to do the right thing on moral grounds, you have to hit them in their pocket book. Bullying is a terrible thing for a child, and sometimes the parents of bullies ignore their children's bad behavior. What do we do as a society to tell parents of kids who are bullying other children that this has to stop? Is it sufficient to admonish them? Or do you think it would be helpful to have a civil penalty that could be imposed if these parents failed to take appropriate measures to ensure that their children, once accused, do not bully again. Parents may not be the insurers of all of the actions of their children, but once you as a parent, in my judgment, have been advised that your child is acting inappropriately, you have a responsibility to do something. If you don't do it because it's the right thing to do, you might have to do it because it's going to hit you in your pocket book. What do you think? I'd be interested in your response.

Your stories

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  1. Combating my son's bullying.

    by Reya My 6-year-old son's a great kid. Wonderful and lovable. But, he can also be impulsive and aggressive. This can happen towards other kids who have no interest in playing and towards kids he's playing with. He's been in trouble several times for bullying behavior and name-calling, and each time we combat it as best we can. Time outs and grounding, single privileges lost, points lost in our point/reward behavior system, And it's really hard to know exactly how much of a consequence he needs when we weren't there to witness what happened, and the bus driver or teacher can't explain the whole story either, they just happened to catch the results. Counselling and additional behavioral resources would be fantastic, but we would be devastated to receive a court-ordered fine for something that we're already combating and redirecting to the best of our ability.
  2. Rising above ignorance...

    by Kim Hi Judge Judy! I am a daily superfan! I think parents should be responsible for their child's actions because they are obviously missing something at home. My son turned 3 yesterday. He is a non-verbal autistic child so the kids make fun of the sounds he make, flapping hands due to excitement and his lack of speech. I wrote these instances down and made myself his 7yr old sister standing up for her 5 yr old brother to turn this into a children's book about autism and bullying. I want the title to be "He's not stupid. He's autistic". I am not sure how that will go over with the world, but these kids hit us hard so we have to give it back even harder. That's why this world is going down now. If the future depends on them, I want to go before them! To help many understand, I want to create the World's Largest Easter Basket. Do something fun for their ATTN then teach 'n preach what the parents don't. The same kids that tease him steal his toys and the parents can care less. That is wrong.
  3. I was bullied as a child...

    by Kristine As a child in elementary, I was not confident and was bullied several times by different people, the first time was a group of three girls. They would beat me up and harass me at lunch time till my older sister found out. My older sister was very confident and very popular and she had a few words to say to these girls. By the end of the day, one of the girls, the main one, was crying to me over the phone apologizing and the other two girls apologized to me when I was at school the following day, and I was finally freed of being abused by those girls. I endured those girls for more than a month of everyday harassment. In another school, I was bullied again because I was prettier than this one girl, and the boy she liked actually liked me. This issue was dealt with through the principal, because the girl was paying larger older people to fight me. When I was in High School, I finally found my voice and became a very confident person and I never had the issue again. But I do agree with Judge Judy!
  4. Parents of Bullies: Is There Another Solution?

    by Cody I have been raising my nephew for two years, and one of our biggest struggles is bullying. I have watched him deal with bullying since we moved to a bigger city. We live in a nicer neighborhood now, but unfortunately the school is not. I have seen the same child in particular face discipline and suspension for bullying repeatedly. I can't help but wonder what happens during these suspensions? The child is suspended for several days. Later on, they are back in school and within weeks they are in trouble and suspended again. Now the last time I was in high school was almost 8 years ago, and I was never once suspended. But had I been, it wouldn't have been something that happened twice in my house growing up. We would have never been able to afford a fine, but there should be something that helps these parents of repeated, suspended bullies stop this kind of behavior before it's too late. Some of them realize that if they don't fix this, there is an adult program that will and it's called jail.
  5. Pay with Time, Not Money

    by Pat I don't think paying a fine will affect most parents. Part of the problem is that these parents are too busy earning money to buy those expensive toys that they care so much about. I believe that making them pay with their time would be more effective. Make them attend school with their bully child. Make them more accountable by showing them how this bullying is affecting not only the children being bullied, but also the child doing the bullying. I used to volunteer at my children's elementary school so that I was aware of what was happening at school. Once they are out of elementary school it becomes harder to keep track of going-ons, but not impossible. My home was the neighborhood hangout. I still volunteered where possible at the secondary schools. I once received a call from the middle school that one of my sons (I have four children) was causing problems and not following direction. I showed up the next day to shadow him all day long... classes, assembly, lunch. Great solution!
  6. The 'Fine' Would Never Outweigh The Guilt

    by HoneyBee As a mum of a challenging child, I don't think any 'fine' designed to force my responsibilities would outweigh the frustration and guilt felt by every action by my child. For every night, I've spent choked in tears or ashamed of the behaviour, paying a fine would be the easy part. I wouldn't need any reminders of my failings nor would any court judgement be any worse than the judgements you face in your own mirror. So, even where the 'fines' leave you almost destitute and out of work and crippled with fear, I would still prefer the fine over the realisation that my own child will never respect me or live the kind of life you would wish for them. Just my honest thoughts for you Judge Judy.
  7. Stand up to them!

    by Don It seems that bullying is now very complicated (ie.Facebook and Twitter and cell phones). Now, larger groups of people can can bully from behind a keyboard. I'm not sure how they handle it now. We had a different way of handling bullies when I was a kid. (BTW there is wonderful Andy Griffith episode with Opie on Bullying). Anyway, my father had passed away and my mother was raising me. Being the "MAN" of the house I was very ashamed when a bully was after me. I would make excuses about why I needed to stay home from school. My mom caught on pretty quick and made me spit out the story. So my mom told me, only one way to handle this, I will bring you to this bully, and you will stand up to him and fight back. Well, a man can't have his mom bringing him to a fight, so I told my mom I would handle it...but on my own. Long story short, after we got off the bus, the kid bullied me, I punched him, we fought, and he never bullied me again after that.
  8. Parent of a bullied daughter

    by Cathy. C My daughter was bullied for years. When she couldn't take anymore, we went to the bullier's house, I spoke to the parent, she was mortified that her daughter was acting this way. The issue was resolved and the girl never bothered my daughter again.
  9. Couldn't agree more

    by Brien P I believe parents should bear some responsibility of their children's actions. Bullying unfortunately will always be a part of most people's lives but it is much worse if the bullying child's parents are aware of the situation and choose not to get involved in any way.
  10. Money Can't Buy Happiness...

    by S.S Before my daughter was bullied I would have agreed that financial penalties would be an appropriate solution. My daughter was bullied recently by 4 people. The problem we had is two of them were sisters and one was their mother. My daughter quit school two weeks before graduation (but earned her diploma through summer school) and suffered a miscarriage(I know she should not have been pregnant at her age). No amount of money will replace the experiences we lost--seeing her (my firstborn and only daughter) walk across the stage to receive her diploma, nor will it bring back the baby we lost. I am by no means wealthy but have no desire for money in place of what we went through. For some it may be a good idea, in our case I just want what we have lost.
  11. Should parents be fined for children's bullying

    by Laurel I very much agree that after parents have done everything possible to get the child help & the child continues to do that they should not be held responsible. The child should be held accountable for their own actions. It would be very sad but hopefully the court system could shake the child up enough so they would stop the bullying.
  12. Should Parents Be Fined for Children's Bullying

    by J.M.F. I was bullied as a child and wished there was a law in effect that would impose a fine on the kid's parents who bullied me. The suffering I was forced to endure was terrible. Even with my own child, all I had 40 years ago was to comfort them any way I could. I support wholeheartedly, a law that would fine these parents with an amount that would grab, not get, their attention. My suggestion: use the monetary guidelines (for your state) for illegally parking in handicapped parking spaces. In my state the fine is $400.00. This amount would grab my attention. But I wouldn't be fined, because my child knew that to bully another was wrong 'before' they went to school. This is where such teaching should begin, 'at home'. Such teachings don't take place & this is the root of the problem. In my era, I didn't have racism or bullying speech. I learned by the example my parents set. God help me if 'anyone' reported to them any of these offenses. I assure you, I'd recall the punishment to this day!
  13. The parents of my son's bullies should take...

    by Yay responsibility! My son , now 10, has been bullied on and off by the same two ring leaders for three years. Each time the headmaster tells us the parents are very upset about it, but they never apologize to me and my husband, or my son. One is grounded for a week or two but a few months later, it all starts again. I feel if parents are fined, or even prosecuted, if their child is guilty of being a bully, they will take responsibility, ownership and be forced to do something. The parents must sit down and seriously exhibit to their child how bullying is wrong and the affect it has on a child. The bully lives under their roof. When you have a child you MUST take responsibility for that child and their understanding of right and wrong. It doesn't 'go away' and the effect on the child - and his anxious mum - is heartbreaking.
  14. Kids Have Rights and You Can't Fine Parents...

    by First Amendment Fan I am a bullying victim- 3rd grade through 12th was horrible and a daily torment. However, I believe that as long as no defamation of character occurs, nor physical assault, from a First Amendment perspective, the bully should not be silenced. I know this does a great deal of harm to the victim, but even bullies have rights. Thus, to fine parents for their kids engaging in free speech is wrong. Should the bully engage in slander, libel, or assault, then the victim should sue the bully, which would normally mean the parents would pay.
  15. Bullying is NOT home grown but I paid

    by Mom of a Former Bully My son decided that one day he would start bullying an Asian girl neighbor. I do not know where he got this from but he started sending her messages via the internet. BAD messages. My son was just in 9th grade. We ended up in court because these messages were just HORRIBLE. I was shocked. You see, I was monitoring what he was doing on the computer at home. He did not have a cell phone. Where this behavior came from is a mystery. The court appointed counselor said his behavior came from the divorce that my husband and I were going through. But still, this is not something we condoned or even understood. It was a shock. We got help for my son & the victim. He apologized. It was wrong, it was terrible and I am ashamed it was my son. Now, should I pay out of my pocket for what he did? Well, I did. I paid for the court appointed counselor and I paid for therapy for him and the victim. I paid the court expenses as well. My son no longer bullies anyone. I guess it worked.
  16. bullying at school

    by Earl As a New York State school bus driver, I see the bullying first hand. We have to give the bullier a chance to change his action by appologies. Parents are called to be put on notice . The students are separated on the bus to prevent further problems. But the secound time, there is trouble for the parents and the student at the school. This is VERY serious matter with the school board as well to get this thing stopped.
  17. Ca-ching!

    by Doris Hit the parents in their wallets and you'll see a lot of these bullies being tamed....and fast!
  18. Bully/The Parent Responsibility

    by Mary I was bullied as a child all through teenage years.... There is nothing worse... ESPECIALLY when you are dealing with a Dysfunctional Home... I have three children who I am proud to say are Confident in their selves and would step in to stick up for a bullied child... As a Parent, you MUST teach Compassion and Tolerance towards your Peers....
  19. A friend in need.

    by M. B. When I was in grade school around 7th grade. I met this girl on my way to school which I thought was cool because now I could have a friend to walk to school with. Well this girl who was a head taller than I turned out not to be a friend at all. Everyday I met up with her to walk with her she greeted me by punching me in my upper arm. I told my mom, Mom said to tell her not to do that and explain that it hurt. Well I tried but, it did not work. So mom said hit her back. Now I was afraid cause she was bigger than I. When I did hit her back she got so mad at me and hit me harder. That was the last time I walked with her. When she saw me she asked me why aren't we walking together any more I told her I would not be a punching bag for anyone. She said she was sorry and that surprised me and she just stopped. We never walked together again. Finally her family moved and I was glad. Mom was trying that the bigger they are the Harder they fall thing. It doesn't always work.
  20. Tripped in school when, I was in 8th grade.

    by Joan I was tripped by a girl that was a friend of a friend. I never did any wrong to her but she thought she was cool!!! I now, 20 yrs. later am being haunted with no cartilage, bone spurs, and severe arthritis. This injury happened in 1983 when, parents didn't sue like nowadays. Her parents didn't even know what she had done. I wish, she would've had to pay or have been punished for her mean behavior! I had surgery immediately after the injury because I had torn ligaments and cartilage (fragments) that needed to be removed. I feel bad, that my wonderful parents (I still have) had to pay the bills for her thinking it was ok to do this to someone. I haven't gotten certain jobs, I wanted because of my physical injury. Thank you, Judge Judy for being hard on these parents/people that are so ignorant and think their kids do no wrong. I love you and your show! I wish you were on 7 days/week. Sincerely, Joan - St. Paul/Mpls., MN
  21. Yes! Fine the parents of bullies!!

    by Tracy Yes they should be fined. Bullying goes on much longer after it stops. It can effect you into adulthood and how you feel about yourself. Physical abuse you can heal from in my experience but emotional abuse can stay forever without lots of therapy. Tracy
  22. A girl who was bullied

    by Jenn I'm not a parent, but I do think that if an authority figure, teacher, coach, principle, etc tells a parent that their kid has bullied another person, and yet does nothing about it, then the parent should then be held accountable. I was bullied in highschool my freshman year because of serious medical issues that were beyond my control. However I found that few of the teachers did much to help me. I was pulled out too have a very serious surgery performed and was homeschooled the rest of that yr, due to complications from the surgery. However, the next year when I tried to go back, the kids remembered me. They wouldn't let up on me and therefore my parents and I decided that since it was causing more health issues, just to homeschool me the rest of highschool. I feel that if the parents had done something and stopped their kids from bullying me, I would of been able to attend. It's up to the parents to teach your children to except everyone and to learn to get along.
  23. Growing up Muslim Post 9/11

    by Erica When I was a pre teen, my mom remarrried and converted to Islam. Naturally, my sisters and I followed suit. Initially the change was abrupt (I left school Friday as a Baptist and returned that Monday covered up and Muslim). I received stares, wispers and the occasional "Why do you wear that now?". I actually was treated with more respect from my elemetary peers than my teenage peers. Once I entered HS, it was a another story since shortly after 9/11 happened. Once it was "determined" that Muslims were behind the attacks, it seemed as if my safety was always in question. I was kept home for two weeks, received prank calls and was even assaulted in the school when other kids would snatch off my head scarfs and I literally had to fight back. Finally,the school contacted the parents but only to find that the parents signed a petition to have me removed from the school. I believe if the parents had to pay for their childrens behavior early on, the bullying wouldnt have gotten so bad.
  24. Order Family Counseling

    by Carla I believe that perhaps court ordered family counseling with professionals chosen by the court in this area of expertise would be perhaps a better solution. It could be done on a sliding scale fee. This way you would be benefitting the entire family instead of trying to get their attention through their wallet. I believe there's always an underlying cause to the bullying. At least with this route you may be giving a child a chance to get the help he really does need.
  25. Bullying

    by Mark Judge Judy - I couldn't agree with you MORE. If parents REFUSE to step up to the plate and do the CORRECT thing to stop bullying---YES, HIT them in their wallets / purses. I 'am SICK and tired of parents REFUSING---for WHATEVER reason INTERVENING to stop the perpetrators. I have known a few teachers. Time and time again I can recall the former teachers saying that when they would speak up regarding a problem student(s)---the PARENTS would berate the TEACHER, suggesting / saying it's something HE or SHE is doing wrong---singling out their child, the student!!! I 'am SICK of it. If I even thought of doing and I never did---a fraction of some of the things I have seen students do to themselves, surroundings---I would have gotten a consequence at home OR a swift kick in the behind!!!
  26. Parents responsible for their child's bullying?

    by Theresa I believe that once a parent has been advised that their child has been bullying another child they should take action to fix the problem & if they chose to ignore it or Pooh pooh it then they should be held responsible !! Too many children are being bullied & it's very sad that most parents don't take it seriously. I have always taught my children that I WON' T tolerate bullying & thankfully my children never bullied anyone & even went a step further & protected children who were being bullied!
  27. The cost of raising a bully

    by Damien I agree with the premise that future choices of behavior are likely going to be influenced by the costs incurred as a consequence of our past choices. I also believe parent's have great power and influence in the choices of behavior made by their respective children. Assuming the goal of the proposed civil penalty is to influence more positive behaviors in bullying children, it seems reasonable to conclude that penalizing the parents for their apparent inaction on addressing the issue would have a positive impact on bullying. However, such a penalty would as likely help as it would hurt. And for the many parents who have sought to change their own behaviors to effect positive outcomes as they saw fit, it is but one of many costs they already endure as a result of their childs behavior. Another point to consider is how such a penalty may serve to escalate problems in the case where, for example, the bullying child might exploit the penalty as a means of inflicting pain & control.
  28. Multi-generational Bullying

    by ItStopsHere My grandfather was a drunk and a bully. My father was a bully. I was bullied by him and by kids at school. My older sister learned from him and became a bully. When I would complain of being bullied, my dad taught me how to punch someone in the face. My son was being bullied in school, and especially on the school bus. I decided that the cycle of bullying in my family would end. We made our concerns known to the school; nothing happened. We took him off the bus and got him to school ourselves each day. The bus bullies chased him down in school. So we took him out of (public) school and put him in a Catholic school that had a zero-tolerance policy. It was like magic. The bullying stopped; he blossomed. Fining parents won't work. If their kid is a bully, they are probably bullies too. And they learned it from their parents. Not everyone has the resources to do what we did. We're not wealthy but we made the sacrifice so that our son wouldn't become a bully.
  29. I was bullied as a child...

    by Chad As a child I grew accustomed to hearing words like "gay" or "fag" or "queer" hurled in my direction long before I knew what the words actually meant. I admit that I was an effeminate boy growing up, but I was simply being myself. I remember being that child in school in the 1980s and early 90s. I remember being bullied and how much it hurt and I remember clearly that I felt that no one cared. I often thought about whether the bully's behavior would change if his parents knew what he was doing. I know that my parents would punish me if I was ever a bully. But I'm not sure that others' parents would do the same. So I think this is a good idea to hold parents accountable so that they will take the problem seriously. I think there would be many challenges in enforcing it though. How do you define "bullying?" Who decides if bullying has occurred? What happens to parents (and their kids) who don't pay the fine? That aside, I am glad to see this issue being addressed and taken seriously.
  30. Should Parents Be Fined for Children's Bullying?

    by Terry Although I do not have children, I do have an opinion. These days, parents are too busy to take an interest in the lives of their children. If the child is behaving badly, alot of parent put it down to they are just children. This is an unacceptable response. My thoughts are that if there is a history of bullying then in order for the parents to take an active role in correcting the situation then maybe a heavy fine will wake them up Giving a child everything they want, is not parenting. Guidance, love is what every child needs, not just material things. If a child is a bully, this might be a sign that something is up and the child is just trying to get attention that they are lacking. My thoughts. Terry (Toronto, Canada) PS Love your show!!
  31. Bully's are Negative Attention Seekers

    by Diana It's been my experience that people, especially children crave attention. And for those that don't get enough attention, they do whatever it takes to get the attention they seek, even if it is negative attention. It's because for those that crave it, even negative attention is better to them than no attention at all,. ergo, sometimes they find their answer in bullying, It's wrong and should be addressed, but I don't think a fine is the answer. The child should be punished AND the parent should be made to suffer the same punishment as the child, i.e., if the offense occurs at school and the child is suspended, the parent should be made to stay home from work and both child and parent should be made to do some community service. This still hits the parent in the pocket book, but more importantly, it hits them where it hurts, their pride, or better stated, the EGO system that the child learns the sense of entitlement from. It is a better choice than paying money to make a problem go away.
  32. Take action! Don't wait for others to...

    by Angela My child has been a victim of bullying, and I've been disgusted with the lack of action taken by teachers and of course the parents of these kids. I witnessed for myself whilst picking up my child from school how two boys had physically isolated my daughter in a corner at the opposite end of the playground where the other kids were playing, my child was terrified. Teachers were there talking amongst themselves, oblivious to what my daughter was being put through. I thank God I walked in when I did and witnessed this for myself. My daughter never returned to that school. She's now enrolled in the public virtual schooling system, as a family we attend Taekwondo classes each week, her confidence and happiness is where it should be. When it comes to my children, I won't stick around and wait for others to do the right thing and correct their child's behavior. I will take action to protect my children and give them tools to take care of themselves.
  33. Society and the Pendulum

    by Carl In my humble opinion the Pendulum of Society has swung too far to the right. The "children" have all the cards and know how to play them especially in the larger cities. Gone are the day's when you would fear the words "Wait Till Your Father Comes Home!" Not so much because you were afraid to get a beating, but because you respected your Father and did not want to let him down. The parent does not have the authority over there children that they had in the 50's lets say. So to answer your question - give the parents back their authority - get repect for authority back in the kids of today. And the issue will correct itself. I remember when I was a kid if I had done something in the neighborhood, by the time I got home Mom or Dad knew about it and as I entered the door the questions would start. That does not happen anymore either "My Johnny would never do that"....... The whole picture needs repainting not just the issue of Bullies My take on it
  34. Fine parents of bullyers...

    by Karen I agree with you, Judge Judy, 100%. If hitting the parent's pocket book is the answer, then the parents should be made to produce a tax return to prove their income and then the "fine" should be a pre-determined percentage of their income to make it fair to those whose income is not six figures and not able to pay like a parent whose income is six figures. By going on a percentage basis, the more affluent would be paying more based on income than the lower income person who is less able to pay a fine (but still based on an equal percentage of their income). Love your show and wish you the best of luck with your new show...Blessings to you.
  35. Would it really work?

    by Mark Hi guys, Indeed, parents should be fined for a lot of their childrens poor behaviour however, would it really work? In the UK here, they have just installed a bill where parents are now fined £60 for taking their children out of school term time to go on holiday (vacation) Excellent idea but again, would it or is it really going to work? At the end of the day, we have to eradicate bad parenting, if we could do that, there would be no need for fines.
  36. Consequences

    by Jan just my experience from working wth inner city people; the children who bully have to experience the consequences of their actions....punishing the parents doesn't do the trick, a lot of single mothers unfortunately can't control their sons, they aren't respected for various reasons of the past, but they end up getting hurt further by their kid's actions, and it's the kid who needs to learn....the more we can do to help support the mother in disciplining and setting boundaries & keeping them is more helpful, but the bully needs to learn and the consequences needs to be theirs; Jan in Toronto
  37. Bullying, old habits never die

    by Carol I remember being bullied as a kid in school...it was terrifying to go thru everyday knowing you would be chased home & possibly beaten up...It was always the same people & it does start with the parents...as I got a bit older I thought I'de better fight back or this is going to continue...I was never scared of bullies but wondered "why"???...back in the 60's it was a different time...I feel so bad for the kids now a days they are cyber bullied to the point that they want to die & sometimes they do kill themselves...I believe the parents should first get a warning then get fined just like they do to dogs owners that let their dogs loose to terrorize the neighborhood...if it gets worse they should have mandatory therapy to try & fix the family problem...
  38. Fine the parents and the child

    by sleepy I agree with the idea that if the parent has had previous warnings about their child and has done nothing, they should be fined. However I also believe the child should have to do some sort of community service. This not only will teach the child a valuable lesson, but it takes the parenting right away from the parent, who has already failed teaching the child the consequences of their actions.
  39. Fining Bullies' Parents

    by Jesus Parents should be fined if they knowingly allow their children to bully others (verbally or physically) because charging them would be the only way to get them to realize how horrid bullying really is.

  41. Retaliation

    by Jeremy It's hard to see anything unreasonable on the face of what JJ is saying and I'm mostly in favour. My sister was a child-bully with a chemical imbalance that legitimately contributed to some of her unacceptable behavior. My parents were far from perfect disciplinarians. But they responded to any of her misdeeds - once they became aware - with proportional countermeasures. What concerns me is the idea that my parents might have been impugned for hesitating to do so or not going far enough - as this hypothetical 'civil consequence' would imply. In that case, I'm wondering if a counterparty might have retaliated against them with an expensive and vexatious civil action. A good judge can easily tell the difference between an angry retaliation from parent to parent and a legitimate tort. But as I'm sure JJ will agree ... You can't always count on getting a good judge.
  42. Hit 'em where it hurts, before someone else hits

    by Tam When chosen behavior is so egregious and is causing harm to others, regardless of whether that harm is emotional or physical or both, then it MUST be dealt with quickly, with clear, sure actions and consequences. That the behavior in question, bullying, and the target offenders are minors in the eyes of the law, makes this issue all the more critical. Children often learn what they see, and what is modeled for them; there are households where right from wrong is never addressed in the least. In that sense, the offenders are often victims first themselves. Society demands personal responsibility at a minimum for one's self, and in one's interactions with others. If that is NOT being taught at home, then there must be systems in place to step in. While the justice system may not be the ideal entry point, that is eventually where these bullies will BE, if drastic action is not taken. Fine the parents, under penalty of law, and get them to step up. If they can not, we must.
  43. Bullying in adulthood also

    by Leslie My twin sister who is educationally challenged was bullied a little in school, but she had me to stand up for her. That was in the 60's She just got railroaded out of a job after 20 years of service, because one or two other women took advantage of her disability and started picking on her for the last three years. No one seemed accountable even after going to HR. She was a good and loyal employee, never calling in sick and had good reviews in all 20 years. She is like an innocent and passive child. People can act very evil to those unable to defend themselves. Whether it's children or adults being the bullies, they should definitely be held accountable in the pocket book if that's what it takes! These "adults" who have picked on my sister, were obviously not held accountable as children or taught compassion, so maybe as children, they will be taught what's right before they become evil adults. We currently have an attorney helping us with this. It has destroyed my sister's self worth!
  44. Bullying is Home Grown

    by Lois When you see a child that is a bully, its already deeply imbedded in the family. It may be a parent or older sibling that is bullying at home. Since most bullys don't see their behavior as objectionable, asking them to do the right thing doesnt make sense to them. In their world they are doing the right thing. Fines might work to help these people see their behavior as it appears to the rest of society. Sometimes, as I have seen on your show, there is a great deal of denial and an attitude of "I'll pay the damn fine but I didnt do anything wrong." I think these people need to see their behaviors on tape in order to recognize and acknowledge what they are doing. They need to be retaught how to interact with their follow beings. Babies aren't born bullies, they are taught. Break that pattern. Maybe the fines could be used to fund such a program - like Bullies Anonymous". A weekly meeting and a mentor to help slowly change behaviors.
  45. Fine the ones who do nothing

    by Justin The parents of bullies should only be fined if they do nothing to stop the actions. Here is a story why we must be careful in doing that. A coach in a soccer league I work with had a player who is 13 picking on a teammate before and after games and practices the coach was not informed, the parent of the bullied kid went to the coach administrator who in turn suspended the coach for not controlling his team, I heard the appeal. I reversed the suspension I said as my reasoning " You must give the person in charge the chance to do the right, and give them support with their efforts. Bottom line give them the chance to do the right thing and support the effort and only fine the ones who do not do the right thing. My fine structure 1st offense: $75 2end offense:$125 any time after that add $50.
  46. Most Definitely!

    by Courtney I was bullied constantly in elementary school; I was trash canned twice, I was even bullied by a teacher!!! It seemed no matter how loud I cried out, no one was listening! I will admit, I was the bully in the very beginning; I would make fun of the Special Ed. Kids, and no one had ever pulled me aside and said I was doing something wrong! Thankfully I realized the error of my ways when I was transferred to a new school into the G.A.T.E. Program in 3rd grade. I was bullied there because I was the new kid; it was added stress I didn't need! I was stressed enough that I was failing most of my classes! I was even bullied by a yard duty (though she bullied everyone, to be honest). Looking back, it seems no amount of talking was incentive enough for the parents to do something! Now, I do get anonymous online bullies occasionally, but after having endured so much of it as a child, I've become quite the sassy little thing! My latest bully I got rid of by replying with pictures of eggplants.
  47. parents are responsible for their children.

    by Thomas Judge, I believe that parents are responsible for their children's actions until they are no longer deemed a minor, therefore if a parent has been made aware their child is bullying and fail to curb their child's inappropriate behaviour they should be brought before a court to explain their failure for not curbing their child. Too many parents are quite happy to let their children run riot, but not as happy to pay for their actions. It is a parent's duty to guide their children on the right path and ensure they don't deviate in any way.

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