Episode 12

Six Feet Under...Where?

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If I had my choice, I’d skip the topic altogether and live forever. Since that may not be an option, the details surrounding an eternal resting place should be given a little thought. Who do you want next to you?  This ex or that ex? First class or coach?  The family pet. You must have some stories.  Share them with me. 

Your stories

  1. Uneasy rest

    by Dan
  2. Post mortem adventures

    by Jenny
See All
  1. Uneasy rest

    by Dan I had a conversation with my mother, she asked where I would bury her. (I'm an only child, parents divorced) I suggested the cemetery crawling with her relatives near where I live. (she lived in NJ, I came back to the area in MI where she grew up). She was mad, and said she spent her life trying to get away from west MI, and I was stupid if I thought I was bringing her back. I had no idea she was ill, and she died a month later, at 56, of IPF, which she had mistaken for asthma. She arranged to have her cremains put in the "memorial garden" at her church in NJ. That's where she is. I get there maybe once every 5 yrs. Her beloved church is now all old people, and its screaming for $, saying it may close. What of all the people interred in that "memorial garden?" Its unsettling, to think that in my lifespan, the church could be closed, the property sold, and my mother's final resting place could become lord only knows what... property in suburban NYC is at a premium...
  2. Post mortem adventures

    by Jenny When I die, I want all viable body tissues donated; skin, bone, eyes, organs, etc... Whatever remains will go to science (forensic, medical, experimental, etc.) for 18 months. Any remains after all that will then be returned for cremation and distributed amongst heart shaped vials love ones can wear on a necklace chain.
  3. Burying an aunt

    by Sheila My aunt wanted to be cremated and buried in my uncle's plot and thus avoid buying another plot. It was very expensive to open his grave, with all the permits and rules and regulations, etc. Her family came up with an alternate plan: they would put her ashes in a coffee can that had been covered with high-quality contact paper, take her along with a post-hole digger to the cemetery late at night and bury her for a lot less money! She really enjoyed the humor and told this story a lot!
  4. Loved ones make decisions for final resting place

    by Dani My dad passed in 2003 and we respected his wishes to be buried in a blue casket. My mom passed in 2006 and she wanted to be cremated and buried. However, I kept her ashes and it's been extremely comforting to me. I couldn't bring myself to bury her and not have her close. My kids felt the same way, so we just call her Portable Grandma. Every time we move my kids make sure she sits in the front seat. My opinion is to respect what the deceased wishes are. Especially if they're your parents. After all they did give you life. I've told my children to cremate me as well and that I didn't care what happened to my ashes because my spirit will always be with them. Once we pass it's just our body anyway. I watched the spirit of both of my parents leave their bodies when they were passing.
  5. God is good . . .

    by Kathleen In May of 2012, my husband and I flew from FL to MN to visit our daughter, her husband and two grandchildren. My husband was 81 years old and had multiple age-related illnesses. We had just gotten a portable oxygen carrier for him to use on the plane. Everything was going well until we arrived at our final destination. My husband, collapsed at the airport, and even though interventions were made, he died. I was so very grateful as we had intended to be laid to rest in MN. We were not in another city nor on a plane in the air. I had family and friends to support me. Sometimes I would look at him and think how much I loved him. At other times I would think what the hell did I get into. Thank you, Judge Judy for your wisdom. I follow you on a regular basis.
  6. Race Track, Hand of Poker and a Raffle

    by Marge My sister passed away on July 4th 2012 after a 10-month struggle with lung cancer. She was an amazing woman with 25 years in the AA program. Everyone who met her, loved her wisdom, open heart and hardy laugh. She knew her death would devestate the family so she took a light hearted way with her wishes and her will. She wanted to be cremated, ashes placed in with her rose bushes. She left myself and three brothers each a thousand dollars to use for fun. We were to have a service on a Saturday a month later so people would have time to plan. After the service, we were to have a raffle and include everyone in the immediate family over 18 for an additional one thousand dollars. We were all to take an additional $100 to blow together at the racetrack. We were to have pizza; many friends came to the track as well. Last, one hand of poker between myself and two brothers for all her diabetic supplies. We are diabetic too. We all told sdtories and laughed as she wanted us to do. She loved Judge Judy.
  7. Not Six Feet Under For Me!!

    by R. At 68 I look back at my life and how wonderful it has been to me....mostly. I became involved in a dog hobby back in 1974. That's the beginning of the story. Wonderful times and experiences raising two boys as a stay at home mom. Many memories to cherish! Unfortunately my marriage was not as wonderful. Years of living with an alcoholic and cheating husband stretched my limits and after years of counseling and Alanon, I filed for divorce after 23 years of marriage back in 1989. My dog hobby now became an employment opportunity and I became successful in owning and running a first class dog training school and subsequently moving on to management positions in two different service dog organizations. Yes I am still single and my dogs are my life!. When each one passes I have them cremated. My sons have been told that I too will be cremated and mixed together with my dogs and toss us to the wind!! We all have the privilege of leaving this earth in our own way!!
  8. Lessons from this topic

    by Mm Having read the many nightmare experiences that people have gone through, I took heart and action. I am single with no children and no debts. I met with my lawyer and have set up a trust with a niece and nephew as trustees to deal with all my assets, if any are left. They can walk away from the paid off mortgage should it not sell, and figure out what to do with my "things" as I won't be there and I won't care. If the car is still good, take it for someone they think might need one. Also have an advanced directive with DNR, and what they must do with ashes. All bases are covered as far as I am concerned. Prevents it from going through probate. Thanks people.
  9. Six Feet Under - NOT

    by Diana When my husband and I married, we were in our forties and each had five children, thankfully most of them grown. 27 years later, we have come up with a very good plan, we think. A tenth of what we will leave behind isn't squat, so we have informed them all - on behalf of the 14 grandchildren and 7 greats as well - that when the last of us croaks, we are to be cremated immediately and our home and possessions auctioned off, with the proceeds sent to St. Jude's Hospital in Memphis. No fighting over the dumb ashes, either. Spread us around out back where the dead pets are. All our children grew up to be super nice and successful people of great character and find this to be a great way to go! (Except the one who has always disagreed with everything, and she'll get over herself in time. Isn't there one in every family??) We have given each of them what they have admired over the years, with a warm hand, and they have all our love until we are gone. In our circumstances, it's enough.
  10. Family Heritage

    by Nancy My husband and I plan to be buried in my family cemetery on a beautiful mountaintop in rural West Virginia. My dad's great grandmother willed a huge tract of land for the cemetery in the 1700s. The trees form a canopy along the edges and in the middle. Seasons come and go, but the beauty on that mountaintop is breathtaking. It is quiet and peaceful among my ancestors whose gravestones are worn with the wear of more than 100 years. This place gives me a sense of inclusion with those who have gone before me -- one being my infant sister who died before I was born. I will finally see her on the resurrection day! One Loyal Fan, Nancy 
  11. Staying with female members of my family...

    by Betty My husband has plots in two places with a total of five opens plots. I told him to keep them for his family. When I finally pass, I'll go the a cemetary in Roseville, Ohio to be with the women in the family, my grandmother, great grandmother, and so on. It seems that all the women in my family are in the same place. So I'll be there also.
  12. New Ideas For Final Resting Place

    by M I'm someone who has researched family history and know where my family is buried all over the world. Something my Grandmother said was my fate to do. Now some 50 years later I've had to decide what to do for my remains? Seeing burial sites demolished, grave stones that cost thousands broken and undistinguishable, family who forgot those who came before make me sad and has changed what I want done for myself. There exists a new way to be remembered... Your remains are put into a biodegradable pot that nourishes a tree of your choosing that is planted where you would like. The thought of a great oak that grows and maybe people in the future will sit under or a swing put onto a branch for children to swing on, or those who I loved could come and read, reflect, along with creating a place and tree that helps the environment and even could be used if need for fuel or heat of another living soul in the future is something that fits who I am. A burial of this type is what works for me.
  13. Final Resting? Really?

    by Renee I suppose my final resting place wouldn't matter much to me. I could be in a casket above ground (Louisiana says it all) or in a brick wall. As long as my children have a place to go to when they need someone to talk to or have something to kick when they need to vent (as long as they put the tombstone back upright).
  14. Final Resting Place

    by Jane Having decided to not be placed in the ground but rather spread out over the ground, the decision as to who will rest beside me is not a problem I have to ponder. Where the wind takes me is where I want to be. As I have lived so do I want to be remembered. Crazy fun and a little different.
  15. Here's where!

    by Michele I'd rather be cremated; it's simple and I wouldn't want to put any unnecessary burden on my family. I'd like to be placed wherever my husband may be. Hopefully that is not for a very long time since I'm only 30 lol:) Just wanted to say I think you're absolutely fabulous! I've been watching you since 1999. I'm a Philadelphia Police Detective and have used your interviewing skills which have helped me tremendously. Thank you and please don't ever retire:D
  16. One last chance...

    by Vicki To revel in the peace and beauty of nature. I want to be able to anticipate my ultimate demise enough that I am able to take one final walk off into some deep woods. I hope my final hours are spent listening to the peaceful whisperings of a breeze through the trees and the chitter of chipmunks. The thought of spending my final days on earth, listening to traffic or TV or any of those other intrusions, seems like the ultimate waste of precious time. What does anyone really care about what happens after they're dead? Its the beginning of a whole new adventure without the old vessel. Let our final gift be that of food for the earth.
  17. Bodies are temporary...

    by Karen I think the body should go to science. When they are done with it, let them decide how to dispose of it. Education helps all, bodies are temporary.
  18. Going Home to Go Home

    by Judy H. My dad died in 1970 at age 57. Mom was very dependent on me. She always came first because of her physical and mental health, even at the expense of our children. I resented that. She mentioned there were two empty plots next to theirs. I'd spent my whole adult life taking care of her and I didn't want to do it in death too!!! Mom joined Dad in 2000 at age 89 and now I've changed my mind. My ashes will be buried by my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. They were serious card players. It's comforting to know I'll be going home on my way to my Heavenly home and I'll be in good hands. Deal the cards!!
  19. As little concern as possible.

    by Roxanne I’ve insisted to my husband, friends, and family that I wish to be cremated--the most cost effective type of burial possible. :) Ideally, I’d love to just be composted and returned to the earth, but that’s not legally possible. I really don’t care what happens to my body: donate everything that can be donated, cremate the rest. What do I care? I’ll be dead, and most likely far away on some other journey. :)
  20. Don't leave children with dysfunctional family!

    by M. To begin, I hope I can keep it simple. Although be prepared, I never can. So I have thought about this subject way too many times; mostly due to the fact my immediate family(sibleys) have always had a certain amount of unethical behavior about themselves when it has come to my own parents and their after wishes. My father has changed his will more times than I can count...and yet he is not wealthy. Go Figure. So again, being a mom of four, I was in no way going to leave my loved ones with my dysfunctional family. So my hubby and I took out a will when they were younger and provided as necessary and of course made sure in writing no family member of mine would obtain custody of my children or oversee their finances. We chose someone else on my husband's side. He at least had a couple normal people to choose from. It is a scary thing when you truly don't have someone competent to count on. I don't mean someone like yourself. No one can replace yourself but I mean when your choices are dangerous.
  21. Don't ask for wacky stuff

    by Robin I had a half sister who wanted her ashes sprinkled under a tree where "she had the time of her life" when she was 14 (i.e. lost her virginity we assumed). Somewhere in New York in a field and she was kinda fuzzy on the name of the town. Now she was 80 when she died. New York 66 years ago? I said just took the ashes and put them in an urn and gave them to her daughter. My sister who was determined to do as her mother wished tried for a year after her death. After a lot of research on both our parts, we flew to what we hoped was the place, which was now a warehouse district, walked all over just looking for one tree. Sis finally gave up, opened the box and tossed ashes in air. This dumb request cost us airfaire, hotel, meals, 2000 bucks total. I till have no idea if we were even in the right place. Before you go asking for something off the wall to be done after you're dead, think of what you'd be putting your family through. If you think your entitled to say what goes, no, your not! You dead, we ain't!
  22. This can make a rift, or bring family together

    by Ann When my brother died, my sister-in-law didn't consult any of his family as to where he would be put to rest. We don't know if it was in his will, or what they'd discussed (his death was sudden). She had him buried in Chicago, when none of us live there nor is any family buried there (or at least in the same cemetery). When another brother died, it was the polar opposite. His sons made sure that a burial in Arlington was agreeable (he was a Marine; we absolutely agreed). They kept us informed as to what the service would entail, and it was lovely. My parents had prearranged everything, from paying for a mausoleum niche for their urns to paying for the cremation, all of it. There was nothing that we had to do,besides the legalities and arranging a service. As for myself, I've found a "rock garden" in a cemetery with fake rocks and trees, that hold the ashes. I like the idea of my kids visiting Mom's rock!
  23. Six Feet Under

    by Louise Both my parents were cremated however they purchased cemetery plots about 20 years prior to their death. Ashes are now buried at their plots and headstones mark their location. In both cases simple memorial services honored their passing.
  24. Burn me up, Scottie

    by Dottie I have a great life and want to be remembered as thinking that way. Once life as we know it is over, please make me into ashes and return me to the earth or sea. Our spirits live on with those we have affected - we cannot stop that. Being the good memory of people we were close to, in some way, is more than we can appreciate after we are gone!
  25. Scatter me to the winds

    by Lois No funeral for me. Set me free by scattering my ashes to the wind to return to the earth I came from. I had several bad experiences with relative's funerals when I was a child and decided then I could not be the object of a wake or any religious rites. I saw no closure at these funerals, only more pain. The survivors should be spared this dog and pony show. I believe you don't get closer to heaven by having an elaborate funeral - that position is decided well before your death by how you conducted your life. Both my parents requested cremation and the scattering of their ashes in the places they were comfortable in during their lives. I was still required to buy a cemetary plot and marker where a portion of their ashes reside. If I could, I would exume the remainder and scatter those too. What do you do with a used $1,200 grave marker? Lets come out of the dark ages regarding this subject. Get rid of the fear and guilt - it costs a lot less and makes more sense.
  26. Ten Thousand Dollar Funeral

    by Donna When my mother died in 2009, my two daughter and son-in-laws, went along with me, to help make funeral arrangements. We wanted the best, as Mother, was a wonderful caring person, that loved and cared about us dearly. In hindsight, we were acting in grief, and Mom, would have thought it too expensive! She was buried near her grandmother, whom, she loved dearly and who died, when my Mother was only thirteen.
  27. Grandpa haunts the family

    by William When my dad's father died in the late '90s, he had owned a store since the early '50s. My father bought the store from his dad over my grandfather's later years. My grandfather ended up leaving the store to my dad in his will, AFTER my dad had bought the store. My grandfather also left $25,000 to his church in his will, and only left $500 for his seven grandchildren..one of the grands had stolen a copy of my grandmother's will at HER death.
  28. A natural burial

    by William I'd prefer a natural burial. Everything is biodegradable, and it's the REAL ''Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust"...I want my body to go back into the earth. Just wrap me in a shroud, dig a hole, and plant me. This idea actually came from the final episode of "Six Feet Under", where the main character was buried that way. I didn't like cremation: $. I DON'T want a casket or a crypt, THAT's over $7,000 just for a decent burial! DO NOT BURY the money! Just bury me under a tree and be done with it.
  29. cemetery under water

    by J. I've thought i wanted to be cremated for a long time but what cemented my decision was the sight of a cemetary completely under water after a hard summer rain. Noone could even enter the cemetary. Why pay all that money and then be drowned? It makes me short of breath to think about laying in my coffin and water creeping in. All to much like a horror movie. I'd rather go up in smoke.
  30. A Gay Couple

    by Phil We are a gay couple of over 30 years. My partner does not want his body buried, instead cremated. I have no prefernce to either. I would like our ashed mixed together and then interred in a wall or buried, with a marker stating our names together, to prove that we were here and that we mattered.
  31. Into Thin Air

    by Bud I have read so many stories of grave yards being dug up many years late and unidentified bones being scattered far and wide, so cremation is my choice. The one topic that no one ever seems to discuss about cremation is the fact that our bodies are primarily made up of water, so as soon as the cremation process begins, we are being scattered out that vent pipe and into thin air. What's left, is a fraction of what we were, so you are being scattered whether you want to be or not. I'm set up to have my ashes scattered from an aircraft over the Colorado Rocky Mountains. We did this with my mom's ashes, with all the family in attendance and it's a great way to go. For those who would be interested, go on line to aerial ash scattering services, which are available all over the world.
  32. The Big Mix

    by Linda I haven't experienced the "event yet" but will soon. Over the years I've amassed over 30 pets, had them cremated upon their demise, and store them in a large urn in my living room. My father was cremated and he's in the urn too....I might mention he wished to be included with his pets as well. When I meet my final reward, I'll be added to the urn and we'll all be scattered off of the Jupiter Inlet by my family. When they journey out on a fishing trip, they can say hello and know we're all together and happy.
  33. What My Husband Want vs What I Want

    by Norma My husband tells me he wants to be buried next to his father in Oklahoma. We currently live in Wyoming so this may be a real problem and also very expensive. Also I would never visit him as it is a very small town where his father grew up and I don't even know anyone there. I, on the other hand, don't really care what happens to me since I won't be here to find out. I told him that whatever is easiest for him will be just fine with me. I am older than him so hopefully I will go first so someone else can deal with his wishes.
  34. To be buried, scattered, or something else...

    by Michelle The choice to be buried or cremated has been an ongoing issue. I once saw something about having ones remains made into gem stones. I have not done any research into the cost of this, but I personally would like this to be done with my remains. I think that this would be a wonderful way to remember a loved one. You wouldn't be buried somewhere your family would visit or be scattered somewhere you loved. Rather you can be remebered and kept as long as your loved one wants to. I just want my children to feel that I'm always there. Then I myself could be a family heirloom.
  35. Tell Your Loved Ones!

    by Joan Whatever you choose for your furneral, or even if you elect not to have one, make sure your loved ones know your preferences. It is not a pleasant subject for most people to discuss, but my family knows exactly what my DH and I want....cremation and a gathering of our family and friends to recall the good times and funny moments ( and there have been many of those!) of our lives. It also helps to locate those old family photos and keep them handy for a memory board. We don't want to make the furneral industry any richer than they already are, so we've told the kids to keep it simple and just to remember all the fun and happiness we have shared as a family. If the memories of us can bring a smile to their faces, and a warm feeling in their hearts, we don't need a fancy furneral....we haven't really completely left them, have we?
  36. Six Feet Under....Where? With my dogs.

    by Mary If I had a choice, I would want to be buried with my dog Star, Angel and Jackson. They passed at different times and I miss them. Right now, I am living in Florida and cannot afford a dog right at this moment. I sometimes visit and volunteer at an animal shelter. I get my fill of animals that will have to due until I can afford one. I LOVE your show, watch it everyday. I tape it when I am not home.
  37. Society's Choice

    by Betsy According to society we must have a funeral to let the living deal with their grief. We're conditioned to believe this malarky about how to put someone to rest by companies who just inflated the prices. It is still legal in our state (Michigan) to have a funeral in your own home like the old days; just know how to follow the rules that matter. The deceased must be taken care of with in 3 days time. People don't want to take care of a body; that's how funeral homes became so expensive. Our family knows there will be no funerals for us. We'll be cremated, then if wanted, they can turn us into concrete steps. We suggest that they have a campfire at our home and tell stories of how we lived and what they remembered about us. My husband is ill & might be first, but if not, we'll abide by each other's wishes. We'll call the law and have the coroner do their job. On the the 3rd day, I'll load him in his truck & take him to the crematorium and he'll do the same if it's me. Then we party!
  38. Small Claims to nowhere

    by B. I broke a simple rule that I regret to this day. My employer code of ethics guidelines prohibit employees lending or borrowing money from each other, especially if the borrowing/lending is between leader and subordinate. Well, I was the leader at a time when the company changed its pay period from every week to every other week. An interest 'bridge loan' or better known as cash advance was offered but my subordinate did not act fast enough to request it and fell short on her financial obligation. My compassion went out to her and her family which I had already known for some time. I loaned $500 to be repaid at month's end. This was 4 years ago. After 3 summons served on her by the court, she inisted she has no money; her account had been garnished; her daughter had legal financial trouble and everything in between. Each time I go back to the courts, I pay another fee and the $500 she owed me is now almost $650 not counting gas and time spent between court locations.
  39. Just stick me in a pine box...

    by Irma It doesn't have to look like a Cadillac, I will no longer need to impress anyone at that point so do NOT spend thousands of dollars on a casket that's going to be buried and never ever seen again. I will not need a satin pillow. Pretty sure comfort will not be an issue for a body I will no longer inhabit. And keep the damn lid closed. Do not apply makeup that will only make me look like my last job was at the MAC cosmetic counter. Please just bury me under a tree somewhere and go on with your lives.
  40. Having a hard time...

    by Vicki I've told my husband and my son to find a nice place-a nice tree or body of water to scatter my ashes. My brother-in-law is still sitting in a nice box we picked out. That's been two years now. My husband is having a hard time scattering his ashes. We think he would like to be scattered in Lake Ponchartrain where they used to fish, swim, crab, etc as teens and young adults. Every time we have to evac for hurricanes and 1 flood, he goes too of course. I hope my husband can find it in himself to finally let go and have a ceremony with the kids and grandkids to let his brother be at peace. I think he deserves that.
  41. Share and shine

    by Mary I personally want everything that can possibly be harvested donated- there are so many ways to help people and I won't be needing all of that anymore! With the remaining pieces, cremate me and turn my ashes into a diamond- prettier than being stuck in an urn and much easier to pass down to relatives!
  42. Six feet under?

    by Diane With the cost of burials I have told my children to cremate me and have a party with my money! When I first talked to my daughter about it she got very quite. When I asked if there was something she didn't like about my wishes she stated that "Momma I love you but I really don't want to have to look at your ashes everyday for the rest of my life". I had to just laugh, I told her she could do anything at all with my ashes and I wouldn't be bothered at all as I will be dead! She actually sighed with relief. Kids!
  43. Cheap, cheap, cheap

    by Krista All I can say is for some reason, even though I'm dead, I don't want to be on fire. I think there is plenty of land left in the world for burials, despite some people's postings, and I would like to be dropped in a hole in a wooden box...as cheap as possible. I don't see the point in spending a ton of money on a beautiful casket that is going into the ground! Instead, take a vacation, pay off some bills instead of accruing more, etc. That is fine with me...just don't set me on fire...
  44. For Heaven's sake, DON'T bury me in Kentucky!!!

    by Mary I am a native of Rochester, NY and my husband & children had to move to Kentucky (of all places) for his job in 2005. My parents are buried in Rochester and that is where my heart remains. Not to say anything "bad" about Kentucky, but if you are a New Yorker, albeit, Upstate New York, you can imagine the culture shock moving to Kentucky...very slow paced here...makes me crazy. (Imagine how New Yorkers from NYC would fare!). Any-hoo, I gave strict instructions to my kids & husband that they had better not bury me here or I will haunt my husband for all his remaining days (I'd never haunt my babies). Instead I wish to be cremated, which my 17-yr old son is against, but my 21-yr old daughter is ok with as long as she can keep my ashes. She cries whenever we talk about it, so we don't discuss it much. I wish my ashes to be split between my 2 kids & they can do with the ashes as the please. If they want to share some with their Dad, well, that's ok as long as I don't end up in the kitty box!
  45. Step on me

    by Betsy We told our kids to take our ashes, mix them with cement and make us into a few slabs of walkway stones. That way we'll be thought of every time they walk all over us. It's something they couldn't do when we were alive. LOL... LOL...
  46. Where will you rest eternally

    by Judi I have told my husband of 42 years that I don't care if he puts me in a trash compactor and sits me on the curb. I'm not certain that my son would go for that though! It's not me in that shell anyway! I would be cremated and he can throw the ashes away. Have a big party to celebrate me and laugh and tell funny stories at the party.
  47. A Time to Let Go

    by Linda I want to be cremated, same as my mother was. My husband wants a conventional funeral but there is no way we can afford that type of thing in today's economy. His mother was cremated so I think he should follow suit, however...there is no way I'm going to hang onto the ashes for him as he's held onto his mother's ashes. She's been dead since 1991 and we still have the ashes with us as we move from house to house in our downsizing. There is a time to just let it go. There is a lot of land around but it needs to be put to better use than filling up with dead bodies. My husband's ashes (he'll never know) are going to be sprinkled in the ocean since he loves to sail. Mine? Who cares, I won't be around so just let it go is what I'll tell my kids.
  48. Six Feet Under

    by Maureen I was happily married for over 40 years; my husband passed away in June 2012. He wanted to be cremated, so I have him home with me. When my turn comes, I would also like to be cremated. We have 4 children and I told them I don't mind what they do with us because we will be in a happier place than this earth(I hope). We both lived our lives to the fullest and like most couples had our ups and downs. I pary our children will be the same. Life is great. As long as we stay in our children's memories and hearts, that's all that matters.
  49. A catacomb...

    by Samantha I recently visited the catacombs right outside of Rome. They are cold, dark, and have an eerie peace about them. When the catacombs were uncovered, the man who entered was overwhelmed by immediate awe and the idea that the individuals laid to rest had not been disturbed for centuries. They were left to tell a story and continue their existence, almost dutifully. After this experience, I no longer see cremation as an option. Maybe it is vanity, but I want to remain here a little longer. If I could be buried in a catacomb, that would be my primary choice. Second best is the Catholic cemetery where my family has been buried for many many generations.
  50. Even in death I'll be there

    by Carey I definitely need to be buried next to my husband and we both want to be above ground. It's way too cold in Nothern Ontario Canada to be buried below the ground...brrr! During our many years of married life, I have been the decision maker and need to be there to guide him through whatever comes next. He is my best friend, the one who really knows me and the only I want to be with wherever death may take us. If he is beside me I know I will always be taken care of, cherished and loved unconditionally.
  51. Watch out! You may spend eternity repaying a debt

    by ADonna I remember my mother telling the story on how my grandmother and second husband would argue constantly. My grandmother would tell him because he was so mean he would spend eternity at her feet. He thought nothing of this, since they already bought their plots next to each other. Her husband passed before her and she soon followed. However when it was time to make burial arrangements, my parents were told that my grandmother's plot had been mistakenly used. The only plot close to her husband... the one just above him! My grandmother was buried and just as she had said during many of their arguments you will be buried at my feet. And there he lies spending eternity at the feet of the woman he should've appreciated while they were alive. Even in death my grandmother had the last word.
  52. Maybe you can live longer...if not forever

    by Joe Cryonics is getting closer to being a medical technique, though it is now a hopeful possibility. The cost is relatively low ($28,000 - which can be paid with life insurance, by the way - not much more than an expensive funeral). And what is the down side? As my friend likes to say, it is a one sided bet: if you win, you live longer; if you lose, you are just still dead. Life is too short. I feel that and I hear people say it often. So if you really want to live longer, check out www.cryonics.org!
  53. The dust might be me!

    by Vicki It'll irritate people to know this so don't use my name! I think the best option for me is cremation, then put the ashes in an empty coffee can, drive me up to my favorite mountain top, set the coffee can on the ground, open the lid and let the winds take me away! I love to travel so I'll get to do so on every breeze! And who knows? Maybe that extra layer of dust at the next family picnic...it might be me!
  54. You decide!

    by Nancy When I turned 40, I bought myself a cemetry plot next to the neighbors who were like parents to me. My friends thought I was crazy, but I wanted my final resting place to be with people who loved me. I'm 57 now, and moved out of my home state. I still have the plot, but I'm now I'm a little more flexible. I have told my husband and daughters that I want to be cremated. After that, I don't care what they do with the ashes. They can bury them in the plot, they can spread them to the wind, they can divy them up and keep them...whatever they want. To be honest, I'll be dead. I won't know what they did with them. So they need to do whatever they need to do to help them move on with their lives. I do know that because of them, I have had a happier life than I ever thought possible. So I'm good with whatever they want.
  55. Bury me, scatter me, make my ashes into a brick...

    by Loretta Cremate me and mix my ashes with the ashes of my departed pet dogs - then give everyone at my funeral a thimbleful to scatter where they'd like. Wow - I run the risk of being flushed down the toilet by someone who hates me, don't I? Whatever people choose as their preferred option for a final resting place, it really is up to their family or the loved ones they leave behind. I choose whatever makes my son the most comfortable - I've asked to be cremated but if that makes my son uncomfortable, I don't mind if he chooses to do something different. He will still be alive and I don't want my choice to ultimately keep him awake at night. Similarly, even though my father wants to be buried, and my mother wants cremation I still won't force the survivor to comply. I just want them to be at ease with the choices that one of them will have to make as they are grieving and trying to adjust to what remains of their life after they lose their partner. Thanks for asking for my story, Judy!
  56. My views on a final resting place.

    by Matthew I would personally prefer to be cremated, with my ashes scattered into the wind. I find the idea of being buried to be rather wasteful. It uses up a lot of land that I feel could be put to better use. At the same time, I find the idea of my ashes being placed in an urn to be rather disturbing. I can respect that it is important to many family members, but I personally find the idea of my body being displayed to be unnerving. I like the idea of being cremated, however, and having my ashes scattered because they could very well create the seeds for new life. I believe that the soul leaves the body after death. As such, I would like to think that my body was able to do one last good thing for the world after I have passed on.
  57. 327K Feet Over

    by Loretta That's right, out of this world! Once my adventure/life has expired on earth. I would like my remains to be sent to space to explore a whole new adventure.
  58. 3 feet above, not 6 feet under

    by Christine I realize once I am "gone" my body will be left behind. Though the thought of being "buried" bothers me. Burned? Even worse. If I had my way, I'd be placed, like sleeping beauty (albeit maybe not as beautiful) in a climate controlled casket, and preserved to look "natural" for eternity in a mausoleum room. Like a living room, pictures, video, a place to sit and "chat" with me. I'd like enough room for my husband to be next to me. Since this is not economically feasible, I guess we'll have to choose between burial and burning. Call it cremation if you will, it's burning. I don't want my children to feel obligated to visit a rock with my name on it and leave flowers. So, I guess, we'll have to go with the bonfire....they can sprinkle my ashes out in the Caribbean water which is where I loved being. OR, blow the remains in my enemies' eyes...that'd be good, too. :)
  59. Burial is a thing of the past (or should be!!)

    by Karen First of all, land is more and more precious. There are way too many people on earth...can you even imagine if everyone alive right now requested burial? A traditional burial is a sad, depressing situation. It forces your loved ones to think about your death, not your life. It is morbid. I believe in cremation for so many reasons...first of all, why should I (or anybody) take up so much precious space, when there is literally nothing left? Let my ashes be the fertilizer for a beautiful tree and give something back to the earth. Secondly, having a loved one in a cold, impersonal cemetary perpetrates the cycle of death forever, and makes one feel the need to visit continually. My dad died in 2004. Dad wanted cremation. I believe his fun-loving, intelligent soul left for some place better. I did not have a "funeral"; instead, the last time we were together was at a beautiful, tranquil villa by the water in Rye, NY.. this is where we had a lovely ceremony to remember his life.

    by Tracy This is something I have thought about for quite sometime. My husband wants to be cremated and his ashes scattered. I want to be in a drawyer or above ground casket. I sadly have no biological children.and my immediate family although we are somewhat close have their own families and although I would be dead I feel I would be a "third wheel" beside them in the cemetary. Besides my husband, the only person I feel really close to is my sister and I love her dearly but she drives me crazy too and again although I will be dead, do I want to spend eternity next to her? Unsure what I want, be put in a drawyer next to strangers, alone? I feel that's what I will do and need to of course get it in writing so my family will know my wishes, but if I can't lay beside my hubby, I think I will lie alone, am unhappy about that but that's my thought.
  61. Chick Comes Home to Roost

    by Kay I've always said that I want to be cremated. If the world continues to bury their dead, soon there will be no place for the living. No one wants to build a house over a cemetery. My plans are to donate my body to science, then what is left will be cremated and my ashes scattered over my parents graves in the little community Where I was born. A little plaque will include the phrase, "The Chick Came Home to Roost".
  62. Together Forever

    by Rosemary My husband is scared of death and I'm an optimist and death is not a scary situation. We are Jewish and I read that cremation is not so kosher. Now that he is 74 and I am 65, I said to him we must make plans for when we pass away. Ironically we live close by a large cemetery for Jews. This is where my grandmother is buried and some more my family. So finally we went to the local synagogue and made him invest in 2 cemetery plots where we will reside happily every after.
  63. Not six feet, but actually four!

    by Hope As a former employee of a funeral home, I worked in the cemetery department. My job was to help families get all the necessary paperwork in order (that's another story!) and confirm or select their loved ones final resting place. After working in this field, my viewpoint changed. I watched familes fight over who goes where and cemeteries capitalize over "2ond interment rights" where the loved one is put a little "deeper" (six feet as apposed to four normally) to allow room for another on top. The whole thing is stressfull and is a money pit. In my belief, once your soul is gone, your no longer there, so why run and cry to a piece of ground or stare at a piece of granite trying to make sence of it all. Death does not discriminate. I've seen young, old, black, while, jewish, christian, all walks, all faiths and all backgrounds go in that ground and when I think of myself and what I want, I've come to the decision to cremate and save the space and have it all paid for up front! Thank you!
  64. An Idea I have Kindled

    by Brett The world is running out of space for graveyards, and we cannot all keep being buried. My plan is to be cremated when I pass away. Any issues over with whom I would be buried with would evaporate. For all I care, the ashes can be tossed out. It is a delicate burden and I do not want to be remembered as a pile of dust that does not resemble me at all. However, if I die younger than 50, I will request to have my body donated to science, as it is a young body. If I die younger than 35, I request to be used as an organ donor. I fell that all three of these solutions are perfectly reasonable, and are a much better way to deal with bodies than with a big empty box in the ground.
  65. Ashes to ashes

    by Denise My husband & I both intend to be cremated. The idea of being in the ground in that big wooden box is more than I can take! I'm not sure where he wants his ashes spread, but I want mine spread on the beaches of Jamaica where we fell in love & have been 5 times so far!
  66. Ashes

    by Sapphire My husband and I want to be cremated and scattered in the Mountains with our son who is in a small urn. When I misscarried my son at 15 weeks that made my decision to be cremated finall. So when it's my time my daughter will know exactly where i want to be in the Colorado mountains and to let her brother go there as well. My husband and I will be scattered in the same place. To me this lets us roam free like we can now.
  67. 3 is a charm or maybe 3 strikes you're out!!!!!!!

    by Michele My Dad died when I was 16; he was only 45 and my Mom 35. I had an older and a younger sister so it was hard for my Mom. When she picked out the grave site they only had a 3 plot for a good price and in a nice place. She bought it and buried my Dad. Of coursr, one left for her and just 1 extra. Later in life she re-married; unfortunately he died. Funny that he had a plot ready with his wife that passed right around the corner about 5 graves away. We laughed and said the four of them would be neighbors. THEN my Mom married again;he died........guess who was buried in that extra plot of 3 that my Mom bought?????? We laugh about it all the time.
  68. I refuse to suffer.

    by Erica This topic is one I have been thinking about for quite some time. Just within the past three weeks, we've lost three people and my partner and I have started seriously discussing our wishes "just in-case". Firstly, I refuse to suffer. I believe that euthanasia should be legal. Alzheimers runs in my family and watching my loved ones die after nearly a decade of living with that disease in full bloom has made me realize that we were holding onto what USED to be instead of WHAT IS. Once I don't recognize my own children anymore and need routine assistance in cleaning my underpants, I WANT to and NEED to be put out of my misery. Hopefully by then the laws will change and I can do it peacefully. I'd like to be cremated and my relatives can do whatever they want with those remains and then I'd like for a huge memorial celebration to be thrown in my honor.
  69. Throw Me Off A Pier!

    by Linda I've already told my two sons that when I die I'm leaving a special fund for them to take a vacation to Folly Beach here in South Carolina. I want them and their families to walk to the end of the beautiful pier and sprinkle me in the ocean. Won't matter to me because I'll be dancing with Jesus! Hate the thought of being buried somewhere and them feeling guilty or obligated to visit a plot of dirt. Love, love, love Judge Judy. My late husband thought you were the bomb and hardly ever missed your show.
  70. Are you going to the party?

    by Ella Someone in the family passed away and my cousin remarked "are you going to the party?" I still remember the expression on his face ater thirty some years. Well, I would like a party before I die to asked the revelers how I could improve my life, then I would wake up for Part II of my existence. My brother wanted to be thrown in the ocean; the deceased has to be in the service. We took the next route and had him cremated and I took a bus tour with the remains to Atlantic City and dispersed them on the Pier. I recommend to wait until the wind stops! The remains really fly fast. I am dreaming of a party.
  71. One way or another...

    by Christine I want to be cremated when I die, because that way I figure I will fit (or the urn would) a 6 dress at least once in my life or uh...after life- dadgum it. :)
  72. Forget Six Feet Under, There is a better way.

    by Joseph Hi Judge Judy, I don't believe in wasting money and funerals to me is the biggest waste of money. Our bodies when they are no longer of use to us can do so much good to others. My wife and I have signed up as anatomical donors. There is so much good that can come from our death that if more people donated their bodies there would be less suffering in this world. There would be no black market for organs there would be very short waiting lists for transplant recipients. Skin to be used for burn victims. When all usuable organs are harvested our bodies can go to med schools and research labs to help find cures for diseases and and to teach future generations of doctors so that they can help others. We are thrifty and have worked hard for our money and what I leave behind I want to go to my children and grandchildren not thrown in the ground. There are many organizations out there to help with donating check your local area.
  73. We All Gotta Go Sometime

    by Joyce My husband and I are both in our 60s. The topic of our last resting place rears its ugly head but only occasionally. So many people are opting for cremation, but, being the live human I still am, I'm "deathly" afraid of fire, so am undecided on the subject of cremation. My husband has not voiced an opinion. Probably wanting me to make the "final" decision! So it is a "dead" issue at this time. Our church has a place for cremated remains at a reasonable price, though, so I may go that route. It is less expensive than a traditional funeral where people get up and extol your virtues and you want to rise up and go "oh brother. He didn't know me that well!" My husband qualifies to be buried in the Veteran's cemetary, which is lovely, and not far from home. I may have to get back to you on this subject when we're older!
  74. Respect Me Now

    by Michelle Hello Judge Judy. I truly love and adore you. I watch you and use your words everyday with my own kids. I respect that you are an independent strong woman. I wish I could be you. As far as your topic. I will not be 6 feet under. You see I am a cancer survivor, and I say if you don't visit or call me now then I don't need visits when I die. People go to wakes to "pay last respects " if you haven't taken time to be in my life when I'm alive..why come after I'm gone..and say she looks so good (which I find gruesome ). I will be cremated with a small family memorial. I will choose the music and I want people to be happy. My children will get my ashes ( if they want them). I have told my kids they don't have to feel like they have to visit a cemetery to talk to me..because I will be all around them always. So this is my story..thankyou for listening. I think you're the best . You should give talks to women who are starting over after raising kids who have no education. You would change lives.
  75. Planning for the end

    by Stacey I live alone and I know realistically that life can come at you and end at any time. I travel a lot and I know that something could happen at anytime. So I planned my own funeral. I contacted a funeral home and got together with a consultant so that my final wishes are known and set in paper. I don't want to leave this burden to my family as death is not an easy aspect in any sense and having my wishes met and fulfilled makes it easier on those I leave behind. I also set up a payment plan so I can pay off the final debt for the price of the funeral. In regards to burial, I am going to be cremated and the graveyard that I have chosen allows for cremated individuals to be placed on top of coffins. My grandmother has spaces that she purchased for when my uncle was in the war. She has decided to let me purchase one and I have mine all set up and ready to go. My best advice is plan ahead. I'm 30 years old and I want my wishes known and carried out.
  76. 6 ft. under

    by Sharon I would like to be buried on our farm in the woods - no embalming, Christ was not embalmed. Being buried in the woods would not require any cemetary care. Would just like a natural medium size rock placed on top with name and date with a solar cross engraved in the rock. Funeral could be at the grave site. Would also prefer to be buried natural - no vault or casket. I came in with nothing and do not need much to go out in.
  77. The type of service to have is the question

    by Jan My husband and I have decided on cremation and have gone so far as to purchase the "shoe box holder" space. The bigger problem is what to do about any type of service. If I go first, I really don't care about having a funeral service. I just want to be remembered as a nice person. If my Hubby goes first, he says to do whatever I want. As he is a non-practicing Catholic and I am a non-church going Lutheran, deciding whether or not to have a religious officiant is a good question. In the end, we'll probably have a simple celebration of life without clergy at a small chapel at the cemetery and then spend the funeral money on a big party at a pub for family and friends.
  78. I'll do it MY way!

    by Irish Stubborn Having had to struggle with unexpected deaths and the expenses involved, I put what I wanted in writing. I am to be cremated, and scattered over the mountain where I live. I don't want a spot somewhere that no one will visit in 50 years because no one has any idea who I even was! After that, I want a good, old fashioned Irish Wake! Lots of food, family, friends (and whiskey!) and funny, embarrassing stories to share about me. If I'm lucky there will be many, and much laughter and love (and I hope as few tears as possible!)
  79. Put me with my Boots..

    by Sarah I think everyone should be cremated. There is no reason to suck up 18 square feet of land to decompose. If you burn everyone, the zombie apocolypse will be very manageable. Kidding.... Seriously, put me in the crisper and scatter my ashes with my beloved pet kitty Boots. She is the only one that loves me unconditionally. Throw our ashes somewhere tropical. I'm tired of snow.
  80. Not Going Under!

    by Elizabeth I plan to be cremated, and I want my ashes scattered. I hope that my family will scatter them in a place that means something to me. That will be decided later. My father in-law plans to have us take his ashes to the mountains of Colorado and scatter them. It was a place the family loved while my husband was growing up. I can't see putting my body in the ground, and I think that going to the cemetery after a funeral is the hardest part, that and seeing the casket. None of those are what will be a part if my funeral.
  81. I'm Ready Already

    by Reta My late husband and I bought our burial plots when our kids were little. After making arrangements for his and my parents' funerals and burials when they passed away, we decided that we didn't want our children to go through what we did. So we went to the cemetary office and made all arrangements and paid for everything upfront, with the exception of the funeral service. We had decided on cremation for both of us and were so deeply in love, that we wanted our ashes to be buried together in one container, so we could actulally be together for eternity. He passed away Dec. 2006 and I have his ashes in an urn on his dresser in my bedroom, along with personal items of his, such as his hairbrush and comb with strands of his hair still in them and his wallet with all contents still in it, his dog tags from the USMC etc. I talk to him every night before bedtime, tell him what I did or whom I saw that day and tell him I love him, miss him terribly and goodnight. It gives me great comfort!
  82. To be where love is...

    by Bev Easy! Married the love of my life at 18 & when he suddenly passed at just 45, I purchased the plot next to his & it's been waiting for me for 25 long years now. My Mom did the same when Dad died. We'll all be together here & in Heaven, just as it's meant to be! And, my second husband, well, he has no problem with that. He knows where I truly belong & is happy with who I am.
  83. Cremation

    by Belinda I changed my mind and decided to be cremated. I am single and live far from my family so who would even think to visit my grave. I would rather my nephews have the money that would have been spent for a burial for their education or to give them a better start in life.
  84. All Prepared

    by Barbara When my husband got the word he only had 2-3 months left, I went out to funeral homes (he was too tired and weak) and got information. Then I picked out the top three and took him to look at them. He selected the funeral home. another day, I went to view caskets and funeral plans. I took my husband the next time and showed him a couple different spaces in the Mausoleum. He picked the one he wanted, picked out his casket, flowers, etc. I also paid to have the crypt open for me so my daughter wouldn't have to deal with it. So when the time came, I was pretty well set with funeral arrangements. Several months later, after I could get myself together, I picked out my casket and planned my funeral. I locked in current rates and pay monthly for five years. Hopefully my daughter won't have much, financially, to deal with.
  85. Our 3 P's are in place!

    by Arline My husband and I have our 3 P's in place. 1-Planned 2-Picked 3-Purchased We are going to be buried together. The way I have always thought of it is, our children grow up, get married or have their own significant others and children. They should have their own choices to make when they feel like talking about what they want done when they die. So my place is still with my husband in life and death. We have our plot in the same cemetery as my father and mother-in-laws. If any of my organs are usable they will be donated. I am an organ and tissue donor and I have already seen what being a donor can achieve. A friend of ours is alive since I donated one of my kidneys to him in 2002. I was so happy he had the chance to see his son grow up and graduate high school.
  86. Bury me not on the Lone Prarieeee

    by Alana I will not care where I am because I will be dead. I have already instructed my daughter, and shared with my Financial Advisor that I do not wish any money spent on a dead body. I want to be donated where I might do some good - with one caveat. I do NOT want to be on display as in Body Works (too creepy). I have told Facebook friends that if they find me coming to a City Near Them they are to abscond with the body and throw it in a ditch.
  87. Don't want only son wasting money on my funeral.

    by Kathy I have arranged with the medical university in my state to donate my body when I am done with it. The Medical University of South Carolina. It is contingent upon the need the school has at the time that I pass away and the condition. If at all possible I do not want my only son to spend any of the small amount of life insurance that I have on funeral expenses. If it works out the way I want it to he won't have to.
  88. The Last Supper.....or is it!

    by Barbara What I would want for my final resting place may seem a little odd, but I have definitely heard worse. I have been blessed with four children. We have never had an overabundance of money but we get by. One of our family treats has always been pizza. It's how we celebrate important dates in our lives, commiserate really bad times, and every once in a while just a kind of pick me up. So, I really want to be cremated and put into four separate little pizza boxes. Sealed tightly so nothing leaks. That way as the kids celebrate their lives with their loved ones they can each have me there whenever they want still sharing in the love, joy and pain.
  89. My plot among plots

    by Melissa Dear Judy, the question of whom I wish to be buried next to is an easy one for me. It doesn't matter to me whom I am buried next to because that is me no longer, just a shell. My spirit will go to Heaven with others and hopefully I will be with those who love me there. I feel Earth is a stepping stone into Heaven, one step closer than pre-birth.
  90. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

    by Andrew That is what my late wife use to say. She wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread over the ocean from one of those 'Columbus' style ships. I find out, that's illegal unless you have a court order. She never told me what her second choice was, then, she died at 39. I did have her cremated, her ashes in a lighthouse urn, lighthouses being her favorite. But upon placing the urn in the 'hole in the wall', the urn was 1 1/2 inches too tall. The info on the size of the hole, and the size of the urn NEVER came into consideration. The urn was switched to a lovely Christian 'open hands' style that did fit at no charge. The ENTIRE situation surrounding my wife's death was unsatisfactory. I wanted to be there when they cremated her, the funeral home did it the night before and didn't tell me. Her ex-husband's family came, and getting them to leave was a treat too. I tried to satisfy my wife's wishes, I failed. NOW, I raise 2 kids alone, wondering, "what would WE have done?"
  91. Burial plans

    by Joan I plan on being buried on my daughter's property (acreage) without being embalmed and having a lemon tree planted above me - seems like a good idea to give something back instead of digging a hole and taking up space that is needed. Florida allows green burial - thank heavens..
  92. We're

    by Paula He wants his ashes at the Veteran's Cemetery in Arizona, I want mine sprinkled off the back deck of a cruise ship. So we're doing both. We're "splitting up" our ashes - part will stay in AZ, and the rest will be scattered at sea. We might even cremate our Yorkie when her time comes, and mix her in with us. We haven't been apart in many years - it would be a shame to not be together forever.
  93. Heaven or bust

    by Shari My Nannie just died in February 2012 and at almost 89 years of age she had her funeral planned, not because she had control issues but because she knew it would be hard on those of us left behind. She had already arrived at her final destination in those early morning hours while we sleeping. Although we were all so sad to lose her we rejoiced with her as she was talking with her precious Saviour face to face. Our lives have been forever changed by this wonderful, humble woman and at her standing room only funeral I realized it is not who you are laid to rest by for eternity but how you lived your life, the people you touched and who you spend eternity with. My Nannie passed that legacy on to all of us and one day I will be where she is. I will plan for my death and burial as she did so my loved ones will hurt less and I pray they will rejoice with me as I make the journey.
  94. I don't care where they dig that hole 'cause it's

    by Sandie As a Christian woman, I know that when I die my soul goes directly to heaven, so I really don't care where they bury me. I assume I'll be married next to my husband but it really doesn't matter to me. Whatever is convenient for the remaining family is fine by me. It amazes me that there are those who have to have every little detail covered. I think it's nice to be prepared for the convenience of those left behind but some people get really stupid about it.
  95. The next great adventure...

    by Rona I have unconventional beliefs so a religious ceremony is not important. Both my parents died when I was young, and it was very difficult to handle so I have told my daughter that when I die she has to do whatever helps her get through it as long as she uses the opportunity to include a time capsule. I don't care where I am burried as it's just my body not me. I also told her if she wastes a lot of money, I will come back and haunt her!
  96. I agree with an earlier story..

    by Carol No Amanda, that does not sound crazy because that is exactly what I want. I am an organ donor and wish to be cremated and have my ashes thrown into the ocean. There is no reason for a furneral, I figure if you can't come and see me when I'm alive, there is no need to see me when I'm dead and I'll save a lot of money. Finally, I can swim with the dolphins and be free.
  97. Veteran Service Plus

    by Sue After the military service, (basically for the living) I will be cremated. My ashes are to be taken to a spot only I and my benefactor knows. An ancient ceremony to give my spirit peace. I am not religious, but spiritual. I have always believed that the human body is a vessel. The formality of a religious service, to me, is unnecessary as I believe what I believe. The Veteran Service, is a ceremony that I earned as did my father. I do not want to lay in a box, in the dirt, as my spirit will be free to soar through eternity.
  98. Put me to good use...

    by jimmcla Its my wish to be cremated. My ashes can be mixed with the soil outdoors and have a tree planted in the soil/ash mix. If I pass away in CA, you can plant a redwood on me. If I pass in the Midwest, an Oak tree will be good. If I pass on the East Coast, place an elm tree with me. I will help the tree grow and who knows maybe a relative of yours will swing from my branches or take refuge in my shade. I do not want a plot in a cemetery or urn. That would take up space and need to be dusted. What happens when all your loved ones go? Just put me outside in a nice spot and plant a hearty tree with me.
  99. Body Donation

    by Sarah I am donating my body to the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center. They will take my body from the hospital after my family says their goodbyes. I will be used to train medical students and when they are finished with me, they will cremate me and return my ashes to my next of kin. Most universities with medical programs provide the same opportunity. I just googled it, filled out the paperwork and set it up. I just feel like, not only am I hopefully contributing to the advancement of medical knowledge for the students, but also removing a huge burden from the shoulders of my family.
  100. Surprise me!

    by Joanne I don't like to think about death but as my mum and I were walking through our local cemetery, after visiting a family member's grave, I asked her,"would you like to be buried or cremated when your time comes?", she replied.."hey, I don't know lass, surprise me!" She has since mentioned that she would like to be put into the sea at Blackpool.a place where she spent many happy years.
  101. My breast cancer...

    by Sharon I was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in January 2012. I have since been really thinking hard about all this because there is no cure or treatment that will make me survive this diagnosis. I guess it really doesn't matter in the end what happens to my actual body, but what does matter is that I have foresite to make sure my family knows I love them and that they will have the chance to be with me in the end. After that what really matters? A coffin,an urn, they are just remnants of what was. I think sharing with them my love and life is what really matters.
  102. Stay close as a family...

    by Alan I love to visit cemeteries and pay my respects to not only relatives but to famous people as well. I decided long ago I wanted to be near my grandmother who was by herself. I purchased a plot for myself and my son not too far away from her. My son's mother's grandparents are there as well so she didn't say no. I found out later that some plots right near mine were available so my parents took those. Last January I saw a single plot in front of my parents so I bought that for my younger sister. I think it is important to stay together so family can make one trip to pay their respects and cover several people at once.
  103. View of the Olympics

    by Linda When I pass on, I truly want my ashes scattered where there is a perfect view of the Olympic Mountains, near my home. This is why I moved here, and this is where I want my final resting place to be. Wouldn't mind being near a tall pine or spruce type tree, or up on the bluffs overlooking both the mountains and the Strait of Juan de Fuca.
  104. Do you leave a legacy? Think about the future.

    by Mary Some people like to be cremated and ashes scattered. All is all good, but for generations to come, what legacy or memorial do you leave behind? Having worked on genealogy for many years, I find it sad that for those long ago ancestors, there is no headstone, no memorial to know that they even existed. Today, it means even much more to me that a headstone or marker be erected no matter whether someone is cremated, buried at sea, frozen, or whatever means of leaving this earth one takes. I visit my 23 year-old son's grave often and find some peace knowing that his name is written in stone for generations to come and his name and face that appears on the stone tells others who walk the cemetery his story. It's our way of keeping his memory alive. My husband and I will be buried right beside him.
  105. In Time of Grief...Relax

    by Beth The worst thought is that in their time of grief, our loved ones would have to make decisions ...impossible decisions. Well, my husband and I decided to make the decisions ourself. On a pleasant day, when we were both feeling upbeat, we went to the cemetery and bought two plots in a quiet, pretty section that was new. It was comforting for us to know where we would spend eternity. From there, we went to the funeral parlor and pre planned our funeral. By having a conversation, my husband and I both came up with the blueprints of what we both wanted. The Funeral Director wrote down exactly what we would have and then filed the document in his cabinet. When the time comes, even with a breaking heart, everyone can relax. No decisions have to be made. The children will know exactly what we want and not have to debate, discuss or second guess each other. This is our gift to them. Grieving is tough enough.. In their time of grief they will hear us say, "relax, it's planned."
  106. Not six feet under...

    by Iris I would like to be cremated. Then my ashes will be sent to every family member for one year. This is my way of telling you since you didn't have the time to spend some time with me when I was alive, we''ll certainly have time for each other when I'm gone.
  107. Resting Place

    by Springfield, MO Our city in Springfield, MO has a pet cemetary called "Friends of the family". Right now, we have 5 animals buried and have space reserved for 1 more-my daughter's cat, when her time comes. The burial is not cheap, but we love our pets so much, we feel like it is a comforting place to go and remember them. We don't like the idea of burying them in our yard as if we should have to relocate. I would love to hear about how you feel about this and about any pets you might have. Thank you so much for your time.
  108. Put me in the darn ground.

    by Andrew Pull the plug, I dont want to be a vegtable. Bury me as cheap as possible. Save the money for yourself. Pay a bill, buy a car, something.. I dont need it anymore. My (late) wife always said I was an EXCELLENT provider, I suppose it goes into my after life.....I do not have an 'official' will, but my wishes are on paper, and my current wife and kids know what is going on.
  109. Six Feet Under...Where?

    by Virg Thank you for this interesting topic! As a 66 year old lady myself whose 96-year-old mom (career RN) died in 2008 and NEVER could talk about the subject of her own death WITHOUT becoming very upset, THIS is really refreshing...and normal, I suspect. :-) I have always been a TRUE animal lover myself, and my 40-year hubby and I never had any children - so ALL of our estate is to be left to save/benefit BOTH animals/pets and therefore people by extension, since studies show people with pets (especially seniors) get more exercise via walking them, have more social interaction because of them, and simply live longer and healthier lives. We consider it a "Two-fer!" No ceremony by some clergyman who never knew me, thanks, and no big monument to hold my decrepit, (but grateful to have lived in America) old body. Any parts left that are 'useable' I have donated, but question it if there are....... NO money wasted here; ALL to go to save pets and people. Wonderful subject and thanks again!
  110. Giving New Life

    by Charmaine I would choose to have my ashes made into an Eternal Reef. It is what my husband and I chose to do for our sailor son when he died at age 31 aboard his vessel. This is a way to give back even in death as the reef soon becomes a thriving habitat for new life beneath the waters of the sea. Love your show. You are level-headed, fair, and very intuitive. You are a joy to watch. Gives me much more hope to know there are people like you who "get it." Kudos and many thanks for all you do.
  111. Who's going there?

    by Dora Well Judge Judy, my father died in 1989 and mom purchased two grave sites in a Catholic cemetary (in Chicago). Dad is in one and mom was to be put in the other; however, mom remarried and husband #2 is now passed. Also, mom has now purchased grave site #2 (in Arkansas) with grave stones already etched with husband #2's name and dates and mom's name and dob on the other headstone. Oh my! Guess that means she getting buried in Arkansas, so NOW who's gonna get buried next to dear 'ole dad? Not so sure since my 3 sisters and I are ALL married, so I would guess we'll be buried next to our spouses. Terrible but I guess dad will be alone for eternity. My man wishes to be cremated so that might mean I could be put next to dad, sadly NO! It's a Catholic cemetary and I am a practicing Lutheran, they WILL NOT bury me there, it's against their rules. So I guess we'll have to look for a nice Catholic person who doesn't mind resting next to a stranger for eternity. Kinda funny right? Take care!
  112. Bury me in the backyard.

    by Neal I fully expect to be buried near my parents and my grandparents and a few more family members... in my backyard. Before you call the cops, let me put your mind at ease by saying I have a licensed legal family cemetary on 10 acres of land. We all decided a long time ago that we would all like our bodies to spend eternity at the place we love the most.... Home.
  113. Planning my burial

    by Peggie My elder sister who I loved very much and miss like crazy, had a terminal illness and knew her time was short, so she visited her favorite cemeteries around our city and chose where she wanted to be buried. It was very nice for we survivors to know what her wishes were. She inspired me to also look, and I've found the one in our area which allows the type of "green" burial I want-- to be in a shroud and straight into the earth. Next step is to buy a plot so it will be more than a wish.
  114. Precious Memories

    by Stephanie I've discussed this topic with my children. I would like to be cremated and my ashes spread on the block I grew up on if possible. I do not want them to be in sorrow when it is my time to leave this earth but to rejoice the life I've lived in the love I have for them.
  115. I will be with my husband

    by Mona My husband died age 61, I was 54. He always said he would want cremation. I am a reform Jew and wanted to be buried. I have changed my mind. His beautiful urn is in my house, and when I go I will be cremated and put in with him and then we will be buried together. This may sound crazy but out little yorkshire terrier, when her time comes, she will be cremated and go in with us too. I have it in my will and and the person who will see to the plot one day has no problems with this. I want to be with him and that is how it will be......
  116. 6 feet under not for us

    by Bobbie We told our kids to cremate us put us together in the same urn and we want to visit them each 4 months out of the year. We even have an urn! One daughter laughed, one told me we were morbid, she did not want dead ashes in her house, our son said ya whatever! Lol the jokes on them because we were serious!
  117. Might sound crazy but...

    by Amanda I know this is going to sound a little crazy but after talking with my family we all would like to be put in rocks and put in the ocean to help ocean wildlife. There is a really interesting program and we are avid in conserving our environment. If we had to choose a more traditional form of being put to rest most of my family would like to be cremated (of course after allowing all of our organs to be used medically or scientifically). We feel that these options can further help someone or something.

    by A. My parents bought two plots so my husband and I could lay to rest near the family. Since then we divorced and he remarried. Late spring he passed away and was cremated. After the services, our son went to his house to pick up some possessions (old clothes) and met the grieving widow. The urn is at her house but she doesn't have enough money to lay him to rest in a mausoleum. She spent every cent he had and now doesn't have enough money for his final resting place. Where are her priorities? I wonder if he's still laying around the house collecting dust!
  119. WHO CARES

    by KATHY I do not care if they put me in a paper bag and throw me away. I believe I will still be going to heaven. As far as a funeral, I have had so many people mistreat me in my life that I would not want to give them the opportunity to stand over me and say how much they loved me. The only person that I care about is my son and he died in an accident and he was the only one I would want to please.
  120. 6 feet under.....not

    by Sharon My husband and I have discussed what we would like to be done after our death, and we decided that we both would like to be cremated, with that being said, whoever is the survivor, will always have the deceased close. We also are going to look into having the funeral at home, instead of at a funeral home. I am not afraid of death, and if my husband was to pass away before I do, I would want him to be close by, not in some strange place like a funeral home.

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